Hey, I’m not a Sex Therapist…..
People love to tell me about their sexual escapades and as I’ve gotten older, it happens more and more. I’ve pondered this elusive oddity and I’ve asked the Universe to knock it off, but still the lusty stuff bangs on my ear bones. People tell me that “I must have a face for it” or ”I must bring it up in them,” but I can assure you none of this is true. A great many of these lusty libidos exist in cyber space; I’ve never met them in person. Yeah, now they like to email me about it too.
I have a mirror. There is nothing in that mirror which speaks of sex, lust or even cleavage. I don’t have long sexy hair or red painted lips and fingernails; I’m not seductive in speech, nor do I play the doe eye, *come hither* games. I don’t even wear makeup. Occasionally, I’ll put on some lip gloss, and in the Summer I’ll expose my toes but really I’m not a sexual magnet. There’s nothing on the outside which suggests I would have any advice or answers for those who dabble in the sexual playground of life….
The other day I took my dog, Blimey, to the Village Square so we could watch the world go by and soak up some sexy sunshine. Norman came out of the post office and sat with us for a while. Within minutes, he needed to talk to me about his latest sexual quest. Norman is 89 years old, very frisky and full of fun but unfortunately, he feels the need to discuss his *dirty dancing* finesse. If you can visualize a bit of grunting and groaning and…well you get the picture. But as memorable as that is, he patiently awaits for me to comment on it. Cringe…
For yet another unknown reason, I always have the correct advice to share. There are times I feel I’m just pulling it out of my ass, but as always, it seems to have a calming, noticeably positive effect on people. I never share the information with anyone but my own mind and from there, I try very hard to erase it. It’s true that God loves to play games with me; he knows I have a great sense of humour and that eventually I’ll find the laughter within.
Am I the only one with this *gift?*
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